Fear and resistance

The forms of fear are innumerable. And one of the worst plays in the perpetuation of our neuroses, psychotherapy is what we call resistance. That is, more or less unconscious ways that reject the painful truths about ourselves. We defend them, in fact, tooth and nail! And so it goes.

The masks of our strengths are endless. We use all kinds of tricks, excuses, lies, rationalizations ...- sometimes even comical, to keep ourselves blind. From my experience as a psychotherapist, I will show below, sorted and commented highest to lowest importance, some of them.

1. I have no problem defending is the most dangerous of all: the denial of reality. The most terrible symptoms tend to come from her neurosis. Logical: if the denial of the problem is greatest, the "rebound" of the symptom (the ball of our previous post) is also maximum.

2. I do not tell my problems to anyone. Well, at least here the subject and recognized that something happens. But that does not express or share it, but "save" it for him, with great effort autorrepresivo. So the symptoms emerge.

3. I express my relief my way. For example, through art, sport, social life ... But generally it is an echo expressed only very indirect, very disguise, inner truth. That is, are variants of fear of repression. So the neurosis persists.

4. I "therapy" on my own with books, articles JLC, various psychology courses, tarot, relaxation ... This is dangerous. It's like "learn" dance without mirror or teacher, or wanting to "love" on a desert island. No. With his knowledge largely solitary and theorists, many symptoms of the subject will only be masked or distorted, thereby further impairing the discovery and overcoming their problems. Psychodynamic theories will convert (or otherwise) in new forms of resistance! Nobody can see his unconscious without outside help.

5. I decided to do therapy, but I have no money almost never true. We all spend most of our money, and have little or much, to escape from our problems, not address them.

6. I love my therapist, but today I will not go because it rains, there is football, I have a hangover, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I feel like I forgot the date, I fell asleep, I was broke, we would alienate the sessions, call the next month ... No comment!

7. I love my therapist, but I keep reading self help books, courses do everything, I consulted another psychologist, yesterday I went to a psychic ... The patient is not associated with the therapist or not committed to the therapy. The elusive. He still has hopes that he can stop suffering magically, without effort, without uncovering their feelings ...

8. I love my therapist, but always I'm late, I do my exercises, I dare not tell you certain things, I'm speechless, I talk a blue streak of minor issues ... Poor patient! He tries really, but how much you can postpone your jump into the water, or out of it right away.

9. I fear losing myself. I can talk, despite the pain of unpleasant things in my life, and it soothes me and makes me see everything differently. The therapist shows me things I had ever seen, despite all my readings and reflections. I've had "flashes" decisive. In recent weeks, without intending to, I notice some amazing changes ... Here the resistors have been reduced to a minimum and psychotherapy is booming.

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In short, the worst fear is fear itself, not even our fear of fear. The worst is not knowing it exists! And this is precisely the resistance.